Here are a few of the most memorable campground office conversations I have had. Obviously it’s not verbatim, but you get the idea of how the conversation went.


  • “Before you run my credit card, I need to pay the bill. Can you wait a week before you run it, but go ahead and make the reservation now?”
  • “I don’t have a credit card.” “Do you have a checking account that we can use to hold the reservation?”  “No, but I have a Visa. Will that work?”
  • “Please don’t send  me a reservation confirmation letter. I don’t want my husband to know about it.” ( I didn’t ask for her to elaborate!)
  • “I don’t want to make a reservation, but if my wife calls, can you tell her you’re full that weekend? I want to stay home and watch the game.”


  • “What time does the gate close?” “Midnight tonight.” “My beer-drinking buddies won’t be out of the bar until 2. Can they crawl under the gate?”
  • “If we left the dog at home, would we have had to pay for the dog now?”
  • “Do you have a groceries in your store? We didn’t bring any food.”
  • “What’s the latest we can check-out Sunday without you calling the cops?”
  • “Quiet hour? You’re kidding, right?”
  • “If it rains tonight, can we get our money back?”


  • “Who do I pay for the coin-operated showers?”
  • “This campground is clean for being in the woods.”
  • “Do the rustic cabins have maid service?”
  • “My campfire won’t start.  Do you have any old motor oil?”
  • “I left my shampoo in the shower and now it’s gone. Can you tell whoever took it to stick it back in the first shower building when they realize it’s not their shampoo?”
  • “You said there is a free ice cream social, but you didn’t say how much it was.”
  • “If I get attacked by a bear, can I shoot it?” “Sir, you can’t have firearms in here and if you do, I have to report you to the sheriff.” “Oh, I don’t have a gun, I was just wondering what to do if a bear attacked me.” “Here’s a brochure on how to avoid bears.” “You serious? You do have bears?” “Yes, sir.” “What kind of campground has wild animals?”
  • “Can I cancel my mother-in-law’s reservation?”
  • “My son didn’t pack his shoes. Is there anyone camped here with children with size 5 feet?”
  • “You have too many squirrels.” “Probably because we have so many nuts.” (Yes, I said that with a straight face!)
  • “I don’t know about this dog policy. How can I pick up pee?”
  • “If I get a tent site and have visitors with a motorhome, can they just pay the extra vehicle fee?”
"What kind of campground has wild animals?"

“What kind of campground has wild animals?”